I’ve been taking lithium since I was 16.  With only three manias under my belt, I feel that it has been a mostly successful treatment.  I was warned of the negative side effects, but they always felt small next to the possibility of losing touch with reality.   I’ve never noticed most them, because lithium has always been a part of my life (except toxicity – that is hell on earth).

When I turned forty, my specialists seemed to multiply like a wet gremlin.  This year, I started seeing an endocrinologist who is treating hypercalcemia and hyperparathyroidism that have sprung up over the last couple of years.  She suggested I stop taking lithium.  To hear someone casually suggest that made my heart drop to my stomach.  When I talked to my psychiatrist, we both agreed that decreasing would be a better first step than switching to a new drug.  Ugh.  The thought of switching scares me more than bathing in spiders; I still remember the pain of starting lithium.  He also mentioned that there is a journal that states that if you have been taking lithium for more than ten years, the calcium/parathyroid imbalances may be permanent.  So, yay, I could go through a painful switch for other side effects plus these.

He reduced my dose by 150mg the Monday before last.  That week I was terrified of every ounce of glee and not falling to sleep.  My husband watched me like a hawk, which always makes me feel loved but a little anxious.  Friday of that week, I dislocated my shoulder, probably Her way of getting my mind off of the lithium.  However, it messed with my sleep (the most important thing to someone with bipolar disorder).  Two nights in a row, I woke up wide awake at 1am or 2am in too much pain and too alert to go back to sleep (or was I manic?).  I once had a provider say one night is OK, two is cause for concern.  I sparingly took diclofenac, something my doctor warned me to not take for more than a week (ibuprofen and lithium are bad bedfellows, but let’s not think about kidneys right now).

The shoulder is back in place (ouch), and I’ve started PT.  The sleep has normalized, and my husband said that I’m more myself now.  We’ll see if the reduction of lithium helps reduce the endo issues in a few months.

The main thing that I have noticed, is that I’m dreaming again, well remembering them.  I haven’t remembered my dreams, steadily, since I was a teenager.  It is kind of amazing, except for the nightmares. Crossing my fingers for sweet dreams and steady sleeping.