I did not add another antipsychotic even after my doctor suggested it. I am feeling better now, but my sleep has been somewhat fragmented. Mania or perimenopause or both? I’m going to take 1mg of clonazepam until I have some solid nights’ sleep. I keep waking up at two or three and staying up for an hour. I feel like I have great ideas, so I started emailing them to myself. It is like writing things down when you are drunk…not so great.

I saw two therapists at Talkspace, and due to insurance issues, I got charged full price – ugh. They also weren’t great therapists. I went back to my EAP, and I’m seeing a life coach. I told her that I have a bipolar diagnosis, and I am prepared to switch to a therapist if necessary. I’ve only seen her twice, and I really like her style. She is supportive, gives me homework, and helps me set goals.

My busiest time at work starts next month. I’m also doing month-end work now, which means 10-11 hour days a few times a month. My coach says she will work with me to set boundaries and take care of myself. I have great self-care tools; I just need to remember to use them.

My plan is to read before I go to bed, read if I wake up at night (with non-blue light), and meditate. I have not been meditating in the last few weeks, and I feel so much better when I do. It is getting late, so I will go to bed to get to a more stable bedtime.