Tag: CKD

Slaying the Depakote-Fear Dragon

On By SararosesIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

I started taking Depakote 500mg BID on December 1st. The first day I felt like a zombie, I had trouble speaking and concentrating. I was so disheartened. I contacted my Pdoc immediately and asked if I could take both doses at night. Immediately helped. I felt like myself again.

Knowing that my doctor warned of weight gain and hair loss, I started to fret. My brother suggested I start my Moira Rose era. So far, I haven’t lost weight, but I have also been moving a lot. As far as hair care goes, I try not to add supplements to this chemical cocktail I already take, so I started using rosemary oil. At the very least, it smells nice.

My lithium has been reduced from 750 to 450mg. Hu-freaking-zah. My sleep is the main thing I notice. Sleep is sacred, and I’m getting 6-7 hours now, and 8 is my sweet spot. I keep waking at 2 or 3am. I’ve been doing some early am shopping, but I always keep it under 50 bucks and make sure it is “practical” in my sleepy brain. Thank goddess for Amazon’s return policey. I’ve had two or three nights of eight hours over the last few weeks. We moved on Sunday, so I’m hoping that I’m also getting used to the new place.

I’ve been using the Bipolar UK app to track my mood, and I couldn’t suggest it more. My nephew who was just dx started using it, too. He showed me how to look at trends. It made me feel so much better to see that I’m in a pretty safe zone based on my daily records.

“Step One of my Ridiculously Circuitous Plan: Complete!” Bender, Futurama

Medication Transition Part IV

On By SararosesIn Mental Health3 Comments

After Lamictal gave me rashes, my Pdoc suggested Seroquel. I tried for a few days, but the fatigue was like a perma-hangover. I need to be on top of my game at work, so this is a no go. I also had trouble sleeping. I learned from my Sleep doctor that antipsychotics exacerbate sleep movement disorders. If it’s not one thing it is six others. 😐 He wanted me to switch to Latuda (another antipsychotic). Ugh.

I joined an amazing forum called Bipolar UK https://ecommunity.bipolaruk.org/. I learned so much from the users there. I’m going to try Depakote next. He said it works better for mania, which has always been my biggest issue for the last thirty years. The worst depression/anxiety came from the Geodon trial.

Earlier this month my mother-in-law died, and almost ten of her family members contracted COVID while visiting her. This was my first COVID dx. There is some relief that I don’t have to live in a bubble worrying about getting it. It was unpleasant but manageable. The hardest part was that none of us could be there when she died. Being high risk, I was prescribed Paxlovid, and the nurse told me to stop taking my sleep meds (clonazepam). If I had a nickel every time that happened, I’d have 10 cents, but it SUCKS. It has been 25 days and I am still sleeping 4-5 hours. My sleep doc told me to up my Clonazepam to 2-3 mg. I had one eight hours and last night was five. It gets so frustrating not being able to sleep. I get so down on my self, even though I know it is my brain. In the morning my husband registers worry and pain on his face, and I feel even worse.

We are moving in with his father to help take care of him. When I got my psychology undergrad in the 90s, I remember a list of the worst stressors. It feels like I’m hitting too many at once – death, moving, hypomania, lack of sleep, and the therapist is closing her practice. Luckily, my relationship with my hubby of 25 years last month is as strong as ever.

We bought ourselves laptops for retail therapy. So far, I love it. Gives me a way to write, work on my photos, learn more things (knitting, guitar/cello), meet more people. I’m aware that my social circle has dwindled to just a few people. I’d like to get back to UU church and go to some meetups. I had a mediation group with my mother-in-law, but I need to find a new one.

I’m finally getting to a point where I don’t need to repeat things over and over to keep focus. When I can’t sleep I’ve been noting things I don’t want to forget. It includes fifty items that I dropped into AI, to create a categorized Google Sheet. I also started a Google Sheet of MBA programs. AI has been super helpful, and it is the only thing that feels like it keeps up with a manic brain.

I’m tired and ready to slow down. I hope I sleep all night tomorrow, because we are moving our offices to my in-laws tomorrow.

A little meandery today, but I wanted to jump back on the blog.

Hope for the future.

CKD, Cuddles, and Mania

On By SararosesIn Mental Health2 Comments

In June, we got a new kitten in our house. After losing our 14-year-old ragdoll last year, I thought I would never get over it. This little (soon to be humongous) creature lights up my life. He’ll do a call and response meow every time I enter the room and rush into our backpack, so I’ll take him for a walk. There is very little better than purrs and cuddles.

I got my kidney labs today. Disheartening, that they were not good, even though I hydrated per the doc, and I’ve been doing low sodium eating. I was sad, but I will wait to see what the nephrologist says. I also meditated in VR (Tripp), which helped a bit, too.

I tried another alternative to Lithium. I learned quickly that I am allergic to Lamictal. Strike one (Geodon) and two (Lamictal). I will try to take less lithium, but I’m not optimistic that that will be enough. I need a break before I try another alternative.

Last week I had a hypomanic episode. Thank goodness for clonazepam and Seroquel. During my last manic episode, I found this scale. It helped so much to have a clear scale to explain my mood to my doctors/therapists. It also helps to see when I’m nearing the danger zone. Last week I was at a seven, so my work was on fire. I’ve been to ten multiple times in my life (more before I found clonazepam).

Time to watch something humorous and see why my phone is blowing up. May be a response to my charming and talkative self last week.