Tag: mania

CKD, Cuddles, and Mania

On By SararosesIn Mental Health2 Comments

In June, we got a new kitten in our house. After losing our 14-year-old ragdoll last year, I thought I would never get over it. This little (soon to be humongous) creature lights up my life. He’ll do a call and response meow every time I enter the room and rush into our backpack, so I’ll take him for a walk. There is very little better than purrs and cuddles.

I got my kidney labs today. Disheartening, that they were not good, even though I hydrated per the doc, and I’ve been doing low sodium eating. I was sad, but I will wait to see what the nephrologist says. I also meditated in VR (Tripp), which helped a bit, too.

I tried another alternative to Lithium. I learned quickly that I am allergic to Lamictal. Strike one (Geodon) and two (Lamictal). I will try to take less lithium, but I’m not optimistic that that will be enough. I need a break before I try another alternative.

Last week I had a hypomanic episode. Thank goodness for clonazepam and Seroquel. During my last manic episode, I found this scale. It helped so much to have a clear scale to explain my mood to my doctors/therapists. It also helps to see when I’m nearing the danger zone. Last week I was at a seven, so my work was on fire. I’ve been to ten multiple times in my life (more before I found clonazepam).

Time to watch something humorous and see why my phone is blowing up. May be a response to my charming and talkative self last week.

Everything Everywhere All At Once is not Sustainable

On By SararosesIn Mental Health2 Comments

After a few days of poor sleep, I took a Seroquel last night at 9:30pm. I went to bed immediately knowing that it can affect my mobility. At 10pm, I woke up with a rapid heartbeat. I started to panic that it had interacted with something else, and there was no way to turn back. I took an ECG test on my watch. The results were that it was not a-fib and my HR was 99. After imagining the worst for a bit, I did some deep breathing and fell back to sleep. I slept for eleven solid, blissful hours. I woke up this morning and asked the interwebs about the rapid heart rate – BARD (told me to go to the ER), Google, and Reddit. I found that a rapid heartbeat can be a side effect of Seroquel. Phew. 

I had a lovely day. First, my hubby and I met this morning. We meet every week to discuss aspects of our life, and we have done this for about ten years. I love our strategy sessions and brainstorming to make our lives run more smoothly.  We also use it to discuss things like our mental health.

The movie title “Everything Everywhere All at Once” is a great five words to describe hypomania/mania.

Today, I:

  • Created a Sheet recommendation list (movies/tv/books/podcasts/restaurants, etc.) and shared it with my friends. I’m always adding people’s recommendations to my Notes app and losing them.
  • Created a Sheet to hold our meeting notes (topics: money, house, exercise, deposits, etc.).
    • Deposits – activities that add to my emotional bank (tarot, knitting, movies, video games, etc.).
  • Set Tasks and reminders for myself and our home – laundry, changed sheets, cleaned the table.
  • Watched RuPaul’s Drag Race while FaceTiming with friends.
  • Reached out to a friend who wanted to FaceTime this weekend.
  • Cancelled the group mediation group I started three weeks ago due to the ice. 
  • Listened to the American Gods soundtrack (I too often listen to the same music on a loop).
  • Watched a movie from my recommendations – Lloyd the Conqueror (entertained us both, which is a masterful feat).
  • Played some World of Warcraft

I think the biggest win I had today was not going for a walk this evening when my task reminder went off.  I have to remind myself to simmer down and focus on just being here.

Simmer Down Plan

  • Make some tea with inositol
  • Start a fire (we are having temperatures in the teens)
  • Listen to my “Simmer Down” Apple Music playlist
  • Knit the scarf I started when I had surgery. One of these days I need to learn how to cast off…
  • Catch up on my Ten Percent Happier meditation challenge (Imperfect Meditation)
  • Early bedtime with a clonazepam at the ready
Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com